- Love
and Marriage
- A collection
of mostly cynical quotations about men, women, love and marriage
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- "Is not marriage an open question,
when it is alleged, from the beginning of the world, that such
as are in the institution wish to get out, and such as are out
wish to get in?"
- -Ralph Waldo Emerson
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- "A man is called a good fellow for
doing things which, if done by a woman, would land her in a lunatic
asylum."
- -H L Mencken
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- Strike an average between what a woman
thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what
she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth
about him..."
- -H L Mencken
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- A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- - Zsa Zsa Gabor
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- When a man steals your wife, there is
no better revenge than to let him keep her.
- - Sacha Guitry
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- A successful man is one who makes more
money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who
can find such a man.
- - Lana Turner
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- Many a man owes his success to his first
wife and his second wife to his success.
- -Jim Backus
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- I recently read that love is entirely
a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
- - David Bissonette
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- I've sometimes thought of marrying, and
then I've thought again.
- -Noel Coward, 1956
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- I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time
I get a divorce, I keep the house.
- - Zsa Zsa Gabor
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- Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational,
and very important.
- - Lisa Hoffman
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- She's a lovely person. She deserves a
good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
- - Oscar Levant to Harpo Marx upon meeting
Harpo's fiancee.
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- We in the industry know that behind every
successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands
his wife.
- - Groucho Marx
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- By all means marry. If you get a good
wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a
philosopher...and that is a good thing for any man.
- - Socrates
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- Marriage is a great institution, but I'm
not ready for an institution.
- - Mae West
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- "It is most unwise for people in
love to marry."
- -George Bernard Shaw
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- "It is a woman's business to get
married as soon as possible, and a man's to keep unmarried as
long as he can."
- -George Bernard Shaw
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- Before marriage, a man yearns for the
woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.
- -anon
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- Marriage is when a man and woman become
as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
- -anon
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- Do not marry a person that you know that
you can live with; only marry someone that you cannot live without.
- -anon
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- I had some words with my wife, and she
had some paragraphs with me.
- -anon
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- If you want your wife to listen and pay
strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
- -anon
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- "One should always be in love. That
is the reason one should never marry."
- -Oscar Wilde
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- "All women become like their mothers.
That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."
- -Oscar Wilde
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- "Men always want to be a woman's
first love - women like to be a man's last romance."
- -Oscar Wilde
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- "Rich bachelors should be heavily
taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others."
- -Oscar Wilde
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- "One should never know too precisely
whom one has married."
- -Friedrich Nietzsche
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- "Ah, women. They make the highs higher
and the lows more frequent."
- -Friedrich Nietzsche
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- "Love is an ideal thing, marriage
a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes
unpunished."
- -Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
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- "The only really happy folk are married
women and single men. "
- -H L Mencken
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- "The great secret of happiness in
love is to be glad that the other fellow married her."
- -H L Mencken
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- "A man may be a fool and not know
it -- but not if he is married."
- -H L Mencken
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- "The first kiss is stolen by the
man; the last is begged by the woman."
- -H L Mencken
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- "Bachelors know more about women
than married men. If they didn't, they would be married too."
- -H L Mencken
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- "Every man is thoroughly happy twice
in his life: just after he has met his first love, and just after
he has left his last one."
- -H L Mencken
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- "Men have a much better time of it
than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing
they die earlier."
- -H L Mencken
Copyright: Kevin Harris
1995 (may be freely distributed with this acknowledgement)
